What I Wish I Knew

Selah Peacock: Vanderbilt Swimming 2020

I am so grateful for my experience as a female collegiate athlete. Spending everyday training with a team of strong and determined athletes that push themselves and each other to do their best in practice and school is something I can look back on and be really proud of.

However, while I was in the thick of it, I didn't see my training as something that was ever good enough. I struggled constantly with poor body image and would fixate on parts of myself that I thought would need to change in order to be happier. I struggled my freshmen and sophomore year with my disordered thoughts the most, and as a result I missed out on some things in life that I regret. I avoided countless social gatherings out of fear and discomfort with how my body looked and avoided seeing any friends from home because I was so embarrassed by how I thought my body changed since the start of college.

Although my thoughts and struggles are not unique, I wish I could've told my younger self that I was not alone and that there were so many female athletes that felt the exact same way I did. If there is one thing I could tell my younger self it would be to focus on treating her body and mind with kindness and nourishment and not with punishment or shame. Bodies are all meant to be different and the way they look is the least important thing about an individual. I hope that all the strong accomplished female athletes realize their greatness whilst in the thick of their busy workout and class schedules rather than waiting until it all passes to see how much they've accomplished.